The day of the show, we woke up to pouring rain which pounded on the metal roof of the building as we waited to go in the ring, scaring the calves (and all of the other animals in the building) and making them as jittery as they were the day I first chose them. I'm sure they sensed my nervous energy, which didn't help - but their anxiousness also seemed to infiltrate every ounce of my being, making it even worse. As the gate swung open so we could enter, I turned to my grandpa (who had been holding the calf's lead while we waited) and my mom and said "I can't do this!!" with what I'm sure could only be described as wild panic in my eyes. He handed me the rope and my mom said firmly, "You have to!". I'm not sure if anyone gave me a gentle push through the open gate or not, but the next thing I knew it was over and I had done it! Once I got that oh so scary "first" out of the way, it got easier and easier the next time I had to do it (although the nerves were always there, they seemed a little less intense).
Sometimes it takes someone you love to push you to do the things you are afraid to do and have faith when yours is wavering, like my mother back on that rainy day. I'm not going to lie, I woke up today excited but completely full of nerves. I'll even admit that there was a moment as we packed the car to leave when I wanted to look at Josh and say "I can't do this!!" but I knew that if I did he would just say "You have to!".
So as we pulled up to the church I was ready. Nervous, but ready. I breathed deeply and reminded myself, "I can do this. I have to!"...and I did. Was it perfect? No. Did I do my job? Yes, and I learned things along the way. Most importantly, I proved to myself that although the nerves will probably always be there, I can do this.
Many many thanks to Chelsea and Richard, as well as both of their families and friends - we had a wonderful day and I couldn't have asked for a better first wedding.
